Why Do We Need Self-Control?

by Robert Jacobs

You should avoid sexual immorality…each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God. 1 Thessalonians 4:3b-5

But why? Why do we need to avoid sexual immorality? Why “should [we] learn to control [our] own body”? And don’t tell me, “Because Paul said so.”

These were the questions that I had when I first began to really deal with my sexual sin. I knew that God was a God of order and reason (1 Corinthians 14:33). Even John calls Jesus the λόγος (logos), which has been traditionally translated as “word” by the church but is more often used by Greek writers to mean logic or reason. If Jesus is THE logic, ultimately the very foundation of reason, then there should be a point to the command to avoid sexual immorality.

If you place the above verse into context, you will find that Paul says that the goal of such a prohibition is our sanctification (1 Thessalonians 4:3a). That’s a good reason to avoid sexual immorality, to be set apart and holy like Christ.

I knew that this was true, but I could not help but feel that there had to be more to it than just that. Why does God allow for only one sexual expression, that between a man and a woman within the context of marriage? I just felt like there had to be some kind of practical reason to avoid sexual immorality.

And there is. The Washington Post ran an article on 22 January 2018 titled “Divorcing Sex from Love Hasn’t Made Sex More Fun, More Safe or Less Complicated.” In the article, Gracy Olmstead discusses recent research that reveals the significant downsides of casual sex. She notes, “We wouldn’t entrust a stranger with our car keys, phones, children or bank account numbers. But in the age of Tinder and casual hookups, our bodies are not one of those off-limit items. And that trust has not been well rewarded.” Additionally, her subtitle to the article strikes at one of the biggest problems of all: “concepts like consent can fall apart during sex with strangers.”

Olmstead’s article exemplifies the truth found in Proverbs 25:28: “Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.” The self-control mentioned by Paul in 1 Thessalonians is, in reality, there for our safety. When we throw off the supposed chains of self-control, we think we will be rewarded with pleasure. Yet the reality is that we open ourselves up to all kinds of danger.

You are worth protecting. No matter what has been done to you or what you have done, you are a daughter or son of God. And as sons and daughters, we should not open ourselves up to undue heartache, physical danger, or demonic attack. When we engage in any form of sexual immorality we do just that.

How do you view self-control? Do you see it as a ridiculous command of an illogical God, or do you see it as protection ordained by a God of wisdom? Our answers to these questions are crucial as we seek sexual wholeness through a more intimate relationship with Jesus.

Fish, Eggs, and the Holy Sprit

by Robert Jacobs

I was sent on a mission. A mission of the utmost importance…to bring my wife back the perfect berry crêpe. 

Okay, maybe this task was not as important as I make it sound. However, my wife had been feeling under the weather and a berry crêpe sounded wonderful to her. Because we are in the midst of packing the house for a move, almost all of my kitchen supplies were inaccessible, making it impossible for me to cook the treat she desired. Thus, I was on the hunt.

After consulting some online reviews, I was out of my driveway and on the road. By the time I got to the café, my wife had already had a chance to look at the menu online and had decided on the “Wild Berry Crêpe.” Foolishly, I did not re-read the text message she sent me, causing me to confidently approached the counter and order one “Mixed Berry Crêpe.”

The man at the counter looked at me blankly. Thinking I had not annunciated my order clearly, I again ordered a Mixed Berry Crêpe. Again, a blank stare.

At this point, another employee came over to check on the problem. I once again ordered a Mixed Berry Crêpe and the woman kindly informed me that they did not have a crêpe by that name. I panicked. Did I read the message wrong? Did they change the menu and not update the website?

As I looked over the menu, I realized my mistake and promptly ordered a Wild Berry Crêpe. With that one word correction, every confusion was resolved. The crêpe was made, delivered, and eaten.

So, why am I telling you this story of pastry woe? I think that a lot of times we are asking God for a Mixed Berry Crêpe when we really need a Wild Berry Crêpe. How so? Let me explain.

While teaching on the nature and purpose of prayer, Jesus told his disciples,

What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent; or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” Luke 11:11-13

By contrasting the supposed goodness of man with the true goodness of God, Jesus demonstrates the extent of our Heavenly Father’s love. God offers us greater gifts than our earthly fathers could ever hope to dream of. Yet Jesus also creates a distinction between the physical and the spiritual. The Heavenly father does not give a “fish” or an “egg,” but He gives the Holy Spirit, part of Himself.

I often find that my prayer life is full of me asking for fish and eggs rather than me asking for more of God. According to Jesus’ teaching, though, the greater gift is God, not more of this world. How many hours have I spent praying for an egg when what I truly needed was Him? Unfortunately, more than I can count.

We have to ask ourselves, am I asking God for the right things? Many times we pray fervently for that perfect companion, for that promotion at work, or even for temptation to be removed from our life. But in those prayers, are we asking for an egg or are we asking for Him? Are we asking for more of this world or a deeper relationship with Him? I cannot help but wonder if many of our supposedly unanswered prayers are the result of God waiting for us to ask for the greater gift: Himself.

Loving Jesus and Sin

by Robert Jacobs

I ran across an interesting quote the other day while I was mindlessly perusing Facebook. Plastered in one of those picture-like call-out boxes so that people will stop their zombie-like scrolling, the quote read, “Don’t worry about your contradictions—Persephone is both floral maiden and queen of death. You, too, can be both.”

Floral maiden and queen of death. While I can appreciate the need to be both sensitive and tough in various situations, the statement reveals something much more important about our culture, namely the desire to ignore our internal contradictions.

Now, don’t misunderstand me. I get that we will continue to experience what I call the Pauline conflict (i.e. “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do” Romans 7:15). However, Paul subordinates this phenomenon to the truth of transformation, the reality that we are created and called to be more than simply stuck in our sin (Romans 8:12).

The problem for us, though, is that we are fine with still wallowing in our sin—being the “queen of death” as it were—while claiming to follow Christ. Despite Peter’s assertion that, “just as He who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do,” we regularly try to synthesize our sin and faith (1 Peter 1:15).

This begs the question. How are those who claim to follow Christ fine with such a glaring contradiction? Or, to put it another way, why do Christians feel like they can have Jesus AND their sin despite the fact that John tells us, “If we claim to have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth” (1 John 1:6)?

Part of the problem, in my opinion, comes from a misinterpretation of the gospel that implies that after the point of salvation our actions no longer matter. In fact, there are even popular Christian songs with this exact phraseology. While I don’t think that these artists intended any harm, when their lyrics are interpreted within the context of our culture they can reinforce the idea that our salvation offers us a license to sin.

This problem, despite what some people think, is not one confined to our post-modern society. According to Jude, something very similar happened in the first century church. He writes that particular individuals had begun to “pervert the grace of our God into a license for immorality” (Jude 1:4). In other words, these people interpreted and taught that the sacrifice of Christ is a kind of “get out of jail free” card, something that is received and then has no impact on the believer’s life.

The reality of the gospel, however, could not be more different. Jesus bids us to come and be transformed, to be restored to what we were intended to be before sin. Rather than being left a “hot mess,” Jesus calls us up to our place as children of God. In this transformation, we are born from death to life, from bondage in sin to freedom in holiness.

Truly believe that you can be transformed, that Jesus has something more for you than your sin. In doing so, you will find abundant life.

What will you pursue?

By Jen Ward, Women’s Mistry Director LHM Houston

Welcome 2018! We couldn’t hold you back even if we tried.

As Chris and I prepared for the Holidays, I was captured by this quote early last month as it circulated on social media among my Houston friends:

“Hosted the Super Bowl. 

Survived a Hurricane. 

Won the World Series. 

Played in the Snow. 

What a year, Houston!”

These words inspired pure pride that I am part of this great city. As a community, we experienced a lot this past year. And we did more than just survive, we’ve thrived. We’ve seen the Lord work in ways we never imagined, bringing beauty from bad. 

Aside from all the communal events of 2017, Chris and I experienced many personal milestones. Two weeks ago our precious granddaughter was born. As you can imagine, the last two weeks have been somewhat of a blur. I’ve watched my daughter patiently try to teach the babe what daytime and nighttime are and how they are actually different. It’s exhausting for me to watch them sleep so little at night. I can only imagine the exhaustion they are living through. And then there’s the toddler…which makes for no naps during the day. 

Amidst all this exhaustion, I considered the “what’s your new year’s resolution” question. I could only come up with “I just want to survive.” That’s literally all that my mind could handle. I couldn’t even imagine anything beyond just surviving until this morning. And this morning, I couldn’t think of anything better than, “I’d like to thrive, not just survive.”

Then I opened up my laptop and saw that the verse of the day on Biblegateway.com was Micah 6:8. I love this classic verse and noticed that it began with “No” and wondered why. So, I started looking back at the verses that precede it. Check it out for yourself (the whole chapter/book even), but here’s what I will be pursuing in 2018: 

Should we sacrifice our firstborn children to pay for our sins? No, O people, the Lord has told you what is good, and this is what he requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God. Micah 6:7b-8

What will you pursue in 2018?